I’ve noticed that many Christians simply can’t understand why Atheists don’t believe in Gods. So I wrote a silly narrative to help address several of the core concepts of Christianity, as seen through the eyes of a nonbeliever. Before we start, I don’t mean to offend anyone, so if it it does, I apologize in advance.
Suzy is walking home one day, when she encounters a well-dressed man along the way. The man asks her if he could have a couple of minutes of her time, and she agrees to hear him out. He says to her “Have you ever felt that there was a presence missing in your life? A figure that seeks only to comfort you in your time of need, and guide you on the path of good?” She thinks for a moment and replies “Yes, I have actually.”
“Well, I want to tell you about our great and heavenly stallion, The Invisible Unicorn. He is filled with pink. In fact, He IS pink, and wishes only to fill your heart, mind, and soul with the color pink.” She smiles and says “That sounds AWESOME. Where can I find this Unicorn?” and the man replied “The Invisible Unicorn is everywhere, and all you must do to find Him is open your heart to Hi–” His cell phone rings and he excuses himself while he takes the call. While Suzy waits, she decides to try out the man’s advice, and she attempts in earnest to open her heart to the Unicorn. A feeling of warmth passes over her, and she extends her hand so that she might touch this magnificent creature….but her heart sinks when she finds that she feels nothing but air.
The man returns and Suzy explains what just happened, and he tells her “Ah, sorry about that, the phone cut me off before I could finish. The Unicorn does not permit Himself to be touched by those who have not allowed Smokey the Bear into their hearts, and accepted the sacrifice of The Unicorn’s only offspring, The Loch Ness Monster, who drowned itself as a sacrifice to Him so that your sins can be forgiven.” Suzy is now perplexed. Why would Nessie drown itself for her sins, when The Unicorn could have simply forgiven them himself? And who was Smokey the Bear? She asks the man about this and the man responds “It’s written in our holy-books by men who were given the words of The Unicorn, through the divine inspiration of Smokey the Bear that it was not truly Nessie that drowned himself, but the Unicorn itself; For you see, The Unicorn, The Loch Ness Monster, and Smokey the Bear are actually one and the same.”
Suzy’s jaw drops and she asks “What? H-How is that possible?” To which the man says “It is a mystery, but they are all one Unicorn, in three parts: Unicorn the Stallion, Unicorn the Sea Monster, and Unicorn the Smokey Bear.” Suzy’s mind tries desperately to comprehend how a Sea Monster and a Bear can themselves be Unicorns, let alone the same Unicorn. So then Suzy asks “So, why would the Unicorn sacrifice himself to…himself, for sins that I committed? Couldn’t he have forgiven them without any need for sacrifices?” and the man told her “No, the sacrifice was necessary, for it was all part of His plan from the very beginning.”. This plan seemed very bizarre and ill thought-out to Suzy, but she still was interested in the prospect of having her life filled with the color pink, so she asks: “Well, if I do accept Smokey into my heart, and accept the sacrifice of Nessie, when will I get to meet The Invisible Unicorn?” And the man tells her “You will be brought before Him when you die, and based on whether or not your sins were forgiven; He will either allow you to be with Him in an eternity of pinkness, or banish you to the realm of Mick Jagger where everything is painted black, forever.” Suzy asks him “Is there any way for me to meet Him before I die?” and the man says “If He wishes, though He does not come to you directly, He wants you to believe in Him without ever knowing His presence, in order to be truly accepted by Him. Otherwise He may not come to you at all.”
Suzy thanks the man for his time, and tells him that she will consider it, and she does…but she cannot help but ponder certain things that come into her mind that she believes the man may not have considered. If the Unicorn is invisible, how does he know that it’s pink? If he cannot see the Unicorn, how does he know it’s a Unicorn? And if the Unicorn does not allow itself to be touched by you, or seen by you until it’s too late to reconsider…how do you even know that the Unicorn, or the eternity of pinkness are really there at all? Ultimately, what is the difference between The Invisible Pink Unicorn, and an empty promise? The next day she walked to where she had found the man so that she could ask him about these concerns, but she saw that he was busy having a debate with another fellow. Apparently he had met a man
- Home
- desperately
- Christians, Can I Have Your Thoughts On A Very Silly (but Serious) Narrative About Atheism?
Christians, Can I Have Your Thoughts On A Very Silly (but Serious) Narrative About Atheism?
By admin Posted in: desperately
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
See More Infomations
New Articles in Category89
More Interesting Things
©2011 Dumps, All rights reserved.
The story cuts off at the end
Sounds oddly familiar though, lol.
lol this isn’t exactly fun, rather eye-opening for those ignorant of how their beliefs are just as reliable as empty promises.
Too long, you could make the same point simply by talking about God, without all the extra narrative.
@Micky GG – it gets reported, I suspect, because it’s spam, unrelated to the question and an irrelevant, stupid and wrong point.
I like it, but I fear that the hardened Christians have developed such convoluted rationalizations to support the inconsistencies of their beliefs that they can’t see the wood for the trees.
Blasphemy! The Invisible Pink Unicorn is feminine!
How dare you portray Her as a Stallion!
Long, but made for an entertaining read thank you.
Atheists believe in nothing so why do they
get so fired up, screaming and mad
Because others have someone in their heart
that always makes them so glad
Why do they fight so hard against this thing
they know just does not exists?
Why not laugh it off as silliness as we do
little children see boogies they insist.
It really is so funny if you think for awhile
about all the time Atheists give thought
To fight against our Lord and Savior to
which our eternal souls were bought
They don’t want us thinking these things because
they love us so do you think, if it were known?
How can it cause them so much stress wanting to steal
something from us they don’t believe we own?
So really all they want it is plain to see is to control our
minds and lives as if they have that right.
We don’t bother them because they have nothing
so what could we take to hurt their fight?
So they took our prayer from the schools and God
from our country or they think they did
But since they know they can’t see our God
they have to keep checking us like a kid
They better not see us praying or bend a knee to
this Man they know is not really there
They really believe they can be bigger than
the force that put beauty everywhere
All Christians know that the Atheist also have a god
that controls their thought in their mind
Using them in a life of hate and convincing them it
is for a good cause keeping them so blind
That one day he will have many of the ones these
Atheists have managed to keep from the word
Besides Atheists he has used for his cause burning
in a hell of fire; such screaming has not been heard
Maybe then it will make them wonder what made them
care so very much for someone not even here
To waste their lives fighting; then end up in a torment from
the god they worked so hard for that didn’t even care
Atheists want no one but I have heard that many of them
change their mind perhaps given a glimpse on that bed dying
When death comes knocking at their door and they know
they will be left behind, for God they start crying
Will He let them change their mind in only a few minutes for
all the lives and souls they cost and cause of trouble.
To these children of His that have fought a long hard battle holding
onto Him, maybe they will be saved in time or maybe they will pay double.
It would be pretty hard at the last minute start to love the One you
always hated or to even know much about the cross.
Knowing our Savior died for those accepting Him; gave his blood for their
sin and all it took was faith where their understanding is at a loss.
Jesus doesn’t want fear, only love as He gives freely; never hurt a soul
If I were an Atheist I’d have given this thought why I started to care
go to such lengths to hurt people about love and peace here on earth
Spend life always mad; fight someone I believe is not even really there
Unknowingly they serve the deadliest god of all,
the god of lies and deceit who will
thank them everlasting.
no way that i will read all that…sorry….
And they don’t get it. But maybe they will one day. And cast off their silliness with sovereign contempt.
This is your answer:
the non Christian really has no logical alternative but to accept that Jesus is God:
“I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God.” That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse.
You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God. “
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,
Col 2:9 (NIV)
Warning – this may offend the atheists and muslims who will report this as they have done in the past!
Jude1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts. Matthew 4:10 ,”Get the behind me Satan; for it is written,Thou shall worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shall thou serve.”.ST.John 20:29 “, blessed are they that have not seen, and yet believed.” For all that don’t believe in Jesus as God’s only begotten Son,(John 3:16), what year do you sign on your checks? Applications and forms? Do you know what the year 2010 means? It has been two thousand and ten years since my Savior and Lord Jesus died for my sins and yours. If you truly deny Him, why do you sign the year 2010. If all this was a lie,what year do you believe it is? For without Jesus’ sacrifice, there would be no point in citing a year at all. I pray before He comes back to judge the quick and the dead that you will come to believe before it is eternally too late. For on that day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Jesus is Lord.
So this is what’s wrong with atheists, eh?
Your little satirical spin-off doesn’t work on any level. Don’t quit your day job.
“Invisible” simply means “hidden from view”
Now – go and try this with the Hindus.
you forgot something. Suzy should ask ” how did the pink unicorn come to be?” . Of course the man would answer ” he has always been” which obviously does not answer her question.
P.s. I am also not offended by the answer with the warning at the bottem. Its simply bible (also just a funny note. If you use a short i instead of a long one, bible becomes bib-le) bable . Nothing worth getting upset about
I think the above does a good job of illustrating your point, and it makes sense biblically, too.
The Bible says the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. They don’t understand it and making fun of it is normal.
So actually this is kind of a brilliant piece in that it not only well describes the atheist point of view, but it also testifies to God’s word. It’s like when Caiphas said it was “expedient for one man to die rather than lots of people.” He was speaking for his own motives, yet also preaching the gospel he didn’t believe at the same time.
Basically, Jesus is for sinners. Until a person is brought low by God’s demands and realize the are lost, they see no need for a savior, and the very idea is ridiculous. Nevertheless, everyone will meet God some day and be accountable.
So, good job on bridging the two things.http://www.wlsessays.net/subject/j/Jesus…
The elites promote atheism in order to destroy religion and spirituality for the scriptures of Lucifer to take place here on earth. The elites also promote homosexuality and abortions through propaganda. If you don’t believe me then all you have to look at is the film “Bruno” were homosexuality is promoted.