I Feel Very Depressed,never Had A Good Relationship.?

i am 35 years old a woman.i never had a good relationship with a man.i had of course relationships but always failed.my longest relation was 1,5 years long.and now I am in a relation,but as usually again i feel vet depressed and lots of anxiety.when I am with someone I put him in the middle of my life.and I want to plan everything with him.but life is no like that.i am working i spend most of the time at work,and I see my friends at the weekend.but I am always checking my phone if he calls me or not,or I am waiting for him to invite me somewhere.and these thoughts are always in my mind,when I work,when I eat and then I feel depressed and tired.what should I do?thanks for your answers.i want to marry and have children:(