I’m not exactly sure why I feel the need to know what’s wrong with me, but I do. I want someone to tell me what I have so I can understand why I feel this way.
Here is what has changed about me. Some of these have been going on for up to 3 years, and some for about a month or so.
I am very depressed, this is the symptom I’ve had the longest. When I’m around my boyfriend is the only time I feel anywhere close to happy, but I still feel like I deserve to be at home in my bed being miserable. (He doesn’t know that side of me very well. We have been dating 9 months.) I take Pamelor 50 mg before bed.
I have horrible anxiety. I get nervous for no reason at all. I take Buspar for that, and I keep having to get it increased.
I have no friends anymore, and my opinion of my old “friends” changes daily from very highly to horrible.
I feel like everyone copies me, and I know some of them actually DO. But I hate it.
My moods and opinions of myself change weekly. One week I will be happy and think okay of myself and the next week I will be deep in my depression and hate myself.
I self harm, and have self harmed for 3 years on and off. Lately, it has felt uncontrollable.
I am irrationally afraid of everything.
I have had thoughts of suicide, many times.
I have also started having eating problems. I feel very guilty and feel the urge to vomit ever time I eat. I started counting calories, a ritual I once thought was dumb.
I’m always extremely tired, no matter how much sleep I get.
Sometimes I think the way I feel is normal teenage feelings. Other times I think I’m going crazy.
I feel like maybe I deserve this, and I shouldn’t get help. My guidance counselor was helping me there for a while, but she has stopped calling me in her office. I’m afraid she will think I just want attention, or I will just be a burden.
ALSO. I am having loads of guilt and trouble admitting to her I still self harm. She knows I used to, but I lied and said I stopped in January.
Please, someone help or just tell me what you think I may have so I can understand myself.
Personality Disorder Help, Please.?
By admin Posted in: anxiety
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Who is prescribing your psychiatric medications?
You need to make an appointment to see this physician and tell them that the medication isn’t working. Here are your symptoms:
1) Self harm and suicidal ideation.
2) Ideas of reference (everyone is copying me)
3) Eating disorder and discomfort with food.
4) Paranoia (fear of everything)
5) exhaustion, tiredness, desire to sleep or be in bed all day, inertia
6) Anxiety.
None of this sounds like a personality disorder. It sounds like a severe and chronic form of depression, possibly endogenous depression or Major Depression. This is a very serious medical condition, indeed. You can’t go on suffering with this anymore.
You say nothing about your parents or your guardian. They should take responsibility for making an appointment for you with your doctor and get this straightened out. And unless you can be forthcoming with your symptoms, none of this is going to get fixed. And so, if you can’t say it, take this post with you and give it in writing to your doctor. But get it said.
Help yourself.
Be well.
I wish you all the best.
Often because of their upbringing, people suffering from BPD lack the ability to regulate their moods, tend to see things in terms of black and white, rather than shades of grey, and often idealise, then devalue, in relationships. They also tend to have a great fear of abandonment, and sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent it. They often become involved in alcohol and/or drug abuse, and/or high risk activities. Closely examine the http://1-800-therapist.com/ & http://www.metanoia.org/choose/ websites. Contact the local & national organisations of clinical psychologists, therapists, and/or psychiatrists, to find a therapist who uses Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or get a good book on the subject, and give to a therapist using Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy (fairly common, and probably nearby) and ask that it be incorporated into your treatment. Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm & http://www.behavioraltech.com/downloads/… Some locators are via the index page, at Weebly.com below.
Workbooks that offer good coping skills are: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley, & Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual (a DBT Workbook). Read “I hate you: don’t leave me.” by Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. and Hal Stras. Also: NEW HOPE FOR PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, by Neil R. Bockian, Ph.D., & The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide – Paperback (Nov 2007) by Alex Chapman and Kim Gratz, & Borderline Personality Disorder For Dummies (For Dummies [Health & Fitness]) by Charles H. Elliott and Laura L. Smith, & “Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified” by Robert O. Friedel, & The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder, by Randi Kreger and James Paul Shirley. Try http://www.amazon.com for these, and others on BPD. View: http://www.essortment.com/all/borderline… & http://www.sane.org/information/factshee… & http://www.2knowmyself.com/uieforum?c=sh… Check out: http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.com/main/… & http://www.mhsanctuary.com/Borderline/board2d.h… & http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personali… & http://www.ehow.com/how_2154549_find-borderline… & http://www.borderlinecentral.com/articles/bpdsu…
Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody… or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (a series of easy mental exercises only; no flexibility required) on page L, at Weebly, below. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/g.h… where this came from, and see page X about BPD.
Giiirrrrrl, trust me. ALOT OF THIS is JUST hormones. It may seem like it’s too big of problems to JUST be hormones, but it is. Trust me, I know. I’m 17 still and I’m going to be 18 in less then 5 months so my hormones are less out of control. I have Bipolar Disorder so obviously it was harder for me with my hormones. But alot of what you are experiencing is not good so go and get help. But I understand alot of what you feel, an you really should get help.